Give a Little, Get a Lot: The Brain Benefits of Being Generous
I keep a stash of what I’ve dubbed “Homeless Money” in a St. Christopher clip on the driver’s side visor of my car. I make sure that I have at least a $5 bill in that clip at all times, because I want to ensure that any time I see a homeless person on my travels, I’ll be able to do my small part to help them. I learned this act of generosity from my dad, who has done this for some time and is able to afford to give much more.
I volunteered at a homeless shelter several times, and it opened my eyes to the conditions these brave and tenacious people live in. Even though I’m not capable of doing more at this time—although I’ve wanted to volunteer again for many years—I’ve learned to acknowledge that whatever I can do does help.
My desire to give my time has often been outweighed by the stressors and complications of mental illness.
When we fail to balance time for others with time for ourselves in the appropriate manner, we will never find a place where generosity feels like more than a burden.
For a long time, my anxiety prevented me from stopping to give that $5 bill. Anxiety of traffic, of maneuvering the car, of missing a light (and what’s more important, causing others to miss the light because of my selfishness*). Once I made my first stop, though… everything changed. I saw the look of gratitude on the man’s face, the way he said “God bless you” with such sincerity, and the knowledge that my money was going to help him. It opened the floodgates for me. Now if I see a homeless person and I can’t stop, I will go out of my way to turn around and go back to them, even if it means being late for something. And it’s not just because I know my bit of generosity will help them, but because I can feel it helping me. So now who’s selfish? ;)
*I realize that selfishness doesn’t seem like the right word in this context, but in my Anxiety Brain, I am being selfish by wanting to stop (regardless of the reason) when doing so might cause someone else hardship. It doesn’t make much sense, but then… what part of my brain does?
YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
There is actual research to prove that generosity can make us happier, and it all has to do with the drugs that our bodies secrete when we implement an act of kindness.
The first one we’ll talk about is called OXYTOCIN. This is the chemical which breaks down barriers we instinctively have in order to connect with people. It’s a great thing for our body to have normally, but when we interact with someone who is underprivileged and we haven’t had that experience ourselves, it’s so helpful to have an increase of it to connect with the people you’re helping. This could be the reason that we continue to be generous. Since the very dawn of humanity, we were built for togetherness.
The next drug is SEROTONIN. It helps to regulate/stabilize your mood. I’m sure you’ve seen tattoos of the chemical chain which makes up serotonin; it’s a popular tattoo because T/MIs often don’t have enough of it. It’s known as a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors in mood stabilizing medications (SSRIs). If generosity can help regulate your ever-fluctuating mood, you might find it’s more effective to volunteer at a soup kitchen than it is to pop a Prozac every day.
Then we come to DOPAMINE, which is the pleasure drug. We get a little hit of this every time we do something pleasurable, like eating a piece of chocolate, watching a favorite film, having sex… or performing an act of kindness. When we’re being intentionally generous, we can influence how dopamine is secreted in our bodies—meaning we can choose to feel good. Some of the things we use for this purpose, such as scrolling through social media, are not healthy for us on a consistent basis, but you can never go wrong using generosity as a means to this end.
BITTEN BY THE GENEROSITY BUG
My money-clip-in-the-car trick always pays off. It’s a simple way of providing that generosity of spirit while satisfying the need to plan ahead before doing anything rash. You don’t have to dig for spare change out of your purse or wallet on the fly. You just have to pop open your visor and roll down your window. But what’s even greater than the feel-good chemical rush that your brain gives you is the knowledge that generosity is contagious, and that your good deed might cause a tidal wave which will leave not only everyone who rides it feeling better than they did before, but also creates a much better situation for the person to whom you’re extending your generosity.
One day after work, I went grocery shopping to a store I don’t normally go to. I was already exhausted from work, and I got into my car with my grocery bags feeling the weight of more than just the food I’d purchased, but also of the anger of meandering through the unfamiliar aisles trying to find what I needed while a throng of shoppers did their very best to get in my way every step of the way (personally, I think grocery shopping is a little-known form of torture, and I’m not surprised in the least that people so willingly throw money at services like Instacart). Trying to breathe my way back to a state of relative calm, I pulled my car up to the line and huffed an annoyed sigh because I hadn’t made the light.
When I looked to my left, I saw a homeless man in his late thirties holding a sign. I couldn’t read what it said, but my heart started pounding in my chest. YES! I thought excitedly. My chance to give back. I wondered if the light changing just in time for me to miss it had been a sign from the Universe that I was meant to stop here to help this man in my small way.
I rolled down my window and beckoned him with a wave, sliding a bill out of my St. Christopher clip. When I handed it to the man, I smiled wide as my heart continued to pound—not in fear or anxiety, but the way it does when you’re anticipating something wonderful happening. We said our pleasantries and then he moved a respectful distance away from my car, but it wasn’t more than a few seconds before he began walking with purpose towards the car behind me. I spun around in my seat to see the woman behind me handing a few bills to the man. My smile widened, wondering if she’d got the idea from me. Then another car, and another! Seven cars in total gave to the man before we began moving, and each time I got more and more excited. By the time the light turned green, I was cheering in my car, whooping and pounding my steering wheel.
The ease with which I provided for the homeless man made people realize that the light wasn’t too short, it wasn’t too hard to get the money out, and they could afford to give a couple bucks. My generosity was contagious, and it brought tears to my eyes to see that others were as willing to give as I had been. I capitalized off of this experience, for sure—I was drugged up on some massive dopamine hits, I’ll admit it—but I also made it possible for that man to raise more money than he probably had in the last 10 stop combined, and you better believe all my feel-good chemicals were on the rise.
When you can create the opportunity and inspiration for others to be generous, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re helping them and the ones they’re helping.
YOUR WALLET IS FULL OF $5 BILLS
If you’re ready to give, but don’t know where to start, you can use my tried and true method of happenstance meetings with the homeless, or you can participate in our Giving Tuesdays. Read more about them here!
YOUR HEART IS BIG BUT YOUR WALLET IS EMPTY
It’s okay if you can’t afford to be generous in a financial way. You don’t have to have money to be a generous person. Here are a few simple Acts of Kindness that you can practice that involve little to no monetary contribution.
Paying it Forward. A common way to keep the karmic juices flowing is to do something nice for someone because someone else has done something nice for you.
Technologically Challenged. If you know of anyone who has trouble with computers, TVs, or anything with buttons, take some time to help them set up, program or fix their devices.
Sitting on Babies. Offering to watch someone’s children is one of the most selfless things a person can do, and it will be appreciated more than you know.
Walking Fuzzballs. People are very connected to their pets. Offer to watch, walk or clean up after them when that person is in need of some assistance.
Chore Score. A simple and easy act of kindness would be to do an unpleasant chore for someone or run an errand for them. Sometimes the simplest things are the most appreciated.
Do it Yourself. Handmade gifts are a thoughtful idea. They not only mean more to the recipient, but it’s also a cheap way of being sincere.
